The Questions We’re All Asking: Love, Sex, & Relationships
What About Sex?
Warm Up: How was the topic of sex viewed in your home growing up? Were your parents open about it, was it taboo to talk about, or somewhere in between?
The message on Sunday addressed probably the most talked about, sung about, written about, thought about topic in our culture today…SEX. But even more than that, it was about how we view God. We learned that what we believe about God will determine how we go about sex.
Read Genesis 1:27-28
The fact that sex was created before sin entered the world is significant. Why is this important/what does this mean to us?
God created sex to be good, to be pleasurable, to be enjoyed between one man and one woman…for life.
This may be a new idea for some of us. In the past, what did you believe about the way God viewed sex? Bad, good, dirty, indifferent?
It was when our forefather and mother, Adam and Eve sinned, something happened to us, and in turn something happened to sex.
In what ways do you think sex has been affected by culture and moved away from God’s original design and purpose?
How has our culture’s view of sex affected you personally?
We’re now going to split up: guys with guys, and girls with girls, for the remainder of the evening conversation. Find a space where you can have a comfortable and quiet environment.
In the New Testament, the Apostle Paul writes a letter to the church in Corinth. Ancient Corinth was like a modern day Vegas. Corinth was near Athens, home to Plato and Aristotle, who came up with the idea of dualism, that taught the physical world and spiritual world were completely separate.
With that idea in mind, read Paul’s words to the Corinthian church in 1 Corinthians 6:12-20.
How has your sexual life been related to your spiritual life? Have you kept the two separate?
How do you define “sexual sin?”
When we live in this state of sin, sex becomes about getting instead of giving. Have you experienced this personally? How so?
Many people think sexual purity, expressed within the context of marriage, is just a Bible thing or moral thing. However, there are two other realities to consider:
Science: Our brains are created beautifully complex. And, the way our brains work confirm what the Bible says about God's design for sex. Two chemicals are released during sex: Dopamine (the pleasure system) and Oxytocin (the bonding system). Dopamine makes sex feel amazing, and Oxytocin relationally bonds two people together.
Statistics: “The people who report the lowest levels of sexual satisfaction are promiscuous singles with frequent sexual encounters. And, study after study shows that people with the best sex lives are married couples who have had few or no partners before marriage. Reality is 180 degrees removed from what culture tries to tell us.” – John Mark Comer, LOVEOLOGY
What do you gather from these two realities? What do you think both science and the statistics are telling us about God’s design for sex? Why would he create it only to be enjoyed between one man and one woman within the context of marriage, for life?
Does this change your thinking in any way? If so, how?
Now, here’s the really good news if you’ve already messed up in this area (which is pretty much all of us in one way or another):
WITH God, there is: GRACE, FORGIVENESS, & FREEDOM
God isn’t trying to get you to follow his RULES.
God just wants you to experience his LIFE.
In this very moment do you feel like you are experiencing the life & freedom that Jesus offers? Why or why not?
God is the God of mulligans…he’s the King of fresh starts. It’s never too late. He wants to give you a rich and satisfying life…TODAY.
Spend 10 minutes in reflection and prayer and ask God for GRACE, FORGIVENESS, and FREEDOM for specific areas in your own life.
If you are dating, consider making a Relationship Covenant together for the things you will and won’t do in your dating relationship.
If you are single (or in a relationship), you could also make a Red/Green Chart, specifically committing to things you will and will not participate with both as an individual, and/or in your relationship. Red is, won’t ever go there, period. Green is: healthy environments to spend your time. Don’t forget to sign it. This accountability before God and with each other really helps things stick!